Just helped out my sissy on her 12 choices for JAE. I'm happy for her because she achieved her goals for O'levels, she's choosing NP as her first choice and that the courses she chose are something that she looked forward into doing later this year. Excited and worried for her too. But I know she's gonna do well even after this. I wished for her the very best.

But I'm even more worried about myself. All of a sudden, my future seems so bleak. I want to graduate and get out of NP but at the same time I don't want to because I really don't know where to head to after this. I really don't. At first, I thought I was sure of everything. But when it's really about making the decision, I cannot do it. I can't think straight right now. I don't know what to do also. I don't know how to help myself.

Sigh. This is why I hate staying at home on the weekends sometimes. I spent alot of time thinking. I really wish I don't have to do this. I'm not looking forward to anything anymore suddenly. It feels as if there's really nothing else to look forward to anymore. Wow. This is how I actually start my 2013 huh. With such negativity all of a sudden. So not me. Pathetic.

How am I supposed to do this?