Today was the first time ever I've seen Papa cried. Never in my entire years of knowing him. I was actually at my aunt's house for hari raya visiting when I found out about their break up. And the thing was, I couldn't help but to cry on the spot and ask Mom and Dad if we could go home straight. Met up with Pa after that. We sat inside the car and he started crying. He finished one whole box of tissue. I felt very sad for him and Ma. Because I love both of them, so very much. But then, things just happened. It's all in God's hands. But I believe, things always happened for a reason. He told me everything about it. I couldn't even feel angry, but disappointed. A lot. Papa asked me not to be angry at her, and forgive her instead. Of course I do, I already did a long time ago. Cause I still love her, no matter what. When he asked me what he should do now... I told him to move on and let go of Ma. For the first time in my entire life, I've said something like that to someone. Usually, I'll always tell that person, "if you still love him/her, then never stop chasing that person till you get him/her back". But this time round, it's totally different. Mama loves somebody else. I cried bad when Papa told me, Ma thinks that Pa doesn't love her anymore. When the actual fact was, Pa loves her more than anything in the whole wide world. He even swore to God. I believe him. I really do.

Things will never be the same again. I want him to move on. And I told him if he still loves her, and wants to see her happy, then just let her be. Let her find her own happiness then. Pa gave them his blessings. He wants the guy to take care of her well, better than he ever did. I'm so proud to have a Pa like him. He's a very strong guy, and I know he'll get through this one day. I believe so. And all of us here, will help him get through it.

I've made a mistake. I know I should have told him earlier. But he said, it wouldn't have made any difference and in fact, it could have made the situation worst. He said that it wasn't my fault or anybody's. He accepts the fact that it just had to happen. I felt so bad. But at the same time, I'm so glad that Sis told him the entire story. I've sinned towards her too. I have to apologize to her one day.

Pa told me everything about Ma. He told me about the bestest moments he had with her. I watched him cry while he told me everything. And I cried too, cause it breaks my heart seeing him like that. I couldn't control my tears. But Pa asked me to smile instead. He said that, "whenever you cry, and you smile after that, that means you are growing". I believe him.

And before we left. I told him to stay strong and hang in there. She'll come along one day, and she's gonna be the perfect girl for him. So I told him for now that, he can finally join my 'forever alone' club while I wait for my prince charming to come and find me. And Pa asked me to promise to him that...One day if the right guy comes along, I must promise to never break his heart and to always and forever love him while I still can. I don't want to see my prince charming cry. So, I promised Papa that.

You know, this feels like those divorce cases where as a child, you'd have to choose which parent you'll go and live with? And of course, my decision has always been Papa. I told him that he's lucky that he still got his secondary school friends who cares about him and of course, us. And I told him that the only people I have now and trust fully, is only him, Farah and Jian. So if I lose all three, I don't have anyone else. He said that, I won't ever lose him and that he'll always be here for us. I don't know why, but I was really convinced. I'm so thankful for all these people. Really. And come what may, I'm always here for them too. I promise.

It breaks my heart to see them like this. My heart hurts like asdfghjkl. But I know, he's had it a billion times worst. You know, I broke a guy's heart before, now I wonder....seeing Papa cry and all, it must have hurt so damn bad. I've never felt so guilty before. Oh God...forgive me. I pray for things to get better for the both of them. Help them decide what's right or wrong, good or bad. Engkau sahajalah yang Maha Mengetahui segalanya.