9.25 am, and I'm writing this post from home. I couldn't bring myself to school today cause I needed the rest. Again, I fell sick, for the God knows how many times this year. Must be the workshop's unclean air, filled with dust. Thank God it didn't trigger my asthma at least. As usual, just my nose.

I don't know why but things are starting to worsen as days goes by. One truth after another revealed. Yesterday, Pa, Nenek and I met up. We went to West Coast Park and we were talking about everything that has been happening. It was so sad. Cause Zaf was saying how she wished she didn't join NRA. She wouldn't have to see all of this happening. But at the same time, she's grateful of how NRA brought us together. And said, if only we could've met through some other way, and not through NRA. I kinda agreed. NRA is/was never a family. Instead, it changes people. Their attitude, their character and how they feel about themselves. We felt that it changed Ma, alot. Pa said that she wasn't like this previously. But I'm glad that we realized it yesterday. Before it's too late.

After that, we found out that Ma had fever. And then I texted Krish, asking if she went to for the flashmob practice. But apparently, she didn't. We knew she was outside, cause we called her home and her brother told us she wasn't at home. Pa was worried sick. So we had no choice but to find out her whereabouts and made sure she came back home safe. Called so many different people. I became some spy, I tell you. And suddenly, we were on a mission to find Ma. Pa drove freaking fast. Omg. So we ended up at her place, and was on a lookout for her. Freaking stalker sia. Omg. But no choice. We just had to.

Pa knew she was going to take bus 99. So we were waiting opposite her block and looking out every time a bus 99 passes by. Gosh, damn stalker-ish. And finally, we saw her walked out of the bus. Just coincidentally, she was wearing the same pants Pa was wearing. He became even more sad. Oh, life.

We watched as she walked her usual route home. Pa told me how he wished he could just run over to her and hug her. For that moment, I was sad too. I missed Ma, and somehow just felt that I was going to miss her even more after this. I saw that she lost weight. And those heavy footsteps back home, just brought me to tears. Don't know why I was the one affected instead. Damn loser. But afterall, she's my Ma.

Yes, I know. I'm badly affected by all of this. And this is not the first time this kind of things happened to me. I am that type of person where I can never see my love ones get hurt, especially when they shed a tear. I will feel the pain and cry with them too. Sounds loser-ish, but I don't know why it always happened. Sometimes, I wish I didn't have the heart to care for anyone. But no. I want them to share their pain with me. I don't want them to suffer alone. Cause I know it'll hurt even more. Now, everyday I wake up and pray that I won't lose anybody else. Not ever again.

My sister told me..."Bad things always happen to nice people" And I agree. Noone can adhere to the love of Allah except those who are patient and persevering. He who only test the ones He loves.